My hardened heart

The twelve apostles had just returned from an awesome mission trip. They had seen the power that God had given them at work so that God cast out demons and healed diseases through them. Jesus wanted them to get away, perhaps so they could decompress and reflect on the power of God that they had experienced firsthand. Unfortunately, their retreat was caught short as the crowds followed them on foot and met them when they got to shore. This sets up another miracle for Jesus as he feeds the 5000 men (plus however many women and children) with just five loaves and two fish. After this, the disciples see Jesus walk on water, and calm the wind.

Faith of Costello

Have you ever felt as lost as Costello in “Who’s on First” when trying to figure out this whole Christianity thing?

It all seemed so simple when I first said that short prayer as a ten year old boy.  Just believe that Jesus is the Son of God that died for my sins and ask him to be in my heart.  At that point, my sins consisted of being mean to my little brother and sometimes not obeying my mom and dad.  If believing in Jesus would save me from hell and the devil then I was all for that.

It started to get a little more complicated when puberty hit.  As a teenager, suddenly my sins started mounting up and I began this endless cycle of guilt and confession.  Finally, at some point I found it was easier to justify my behavior than feel guilty about it.

Christianity became real easy once I just ignored it all together.

Who’s on First? I don’t care.  It wasn’t very complicated at all.  I had my prayer done and my eternity ticket punched.

Fortunately for me, it was not just up to me.

Romans 8:29 (ESV)
²⁹ For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

God pursued me and would not let me cast him aside.  You can read my story in detail under My Damascus Road.

This however, is when Christianity started to get much more confusing and I started to find myself frustrated with what I call the “faith of Costello”.  What I mean by that is Christianity is simple, but my expectations had made it very difficult.

I know we are saved by faith.  There is nothing we can do to save ourselves.

Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)
⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,

However, just a few books to the right, we read that faith without works is no faith at all.  And Jesus tells us those that belong to him will bear good fruit.

James 2:17 (ESV)
¹⁷ So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

John 15:2 (ESV)
² Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.

So what are some of these good works that I need to be doing or maybe my faith is dead?  Oh, nothing much…Just lose your life, crucify your life to this world, consider everything worldly as crap.

Matthew 10:38 (ESV)
³⁸ And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

Romans 6:6 (ESV)
⁶ We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.

Philippians 3:8 (ESV)
⁸ Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ

I’m saved by faith alone.  Ok, but I’m still living a pretty comfy life.  I’m not sure where my cross is to carry even if I was willing.  I sure don’t feel that crucified and while some of my stuff is crap – some of it I really like!  I can’t do this.  This is too hard God.  I just want to know what it takes to be a Christ follower.

Who’s on First?

I don’t know.

No, he’s on Third.

Who?

No, Who’s on First

Is it really that difficult to grasp?

Not really.  It’s no more difficult than when I was ten.  Only now, I understand it better because I understand that my sin is much more than just being mean to my little brother and not listening to my parents all the time.  My sin is in my very nature.  However, the answer is still the same.  Jesus died for all this sin.  And the power that resurrected him from the dead is the same power that will allow me to overcome my old nature that fights against my new nature.

The reason this seems so complicated to me sometimes, is because I forget that the gospel that saved me in the beginning is the same gospel that rescues me everyday.  When I come before His cross each day, I want to pick up my own, I want to crucify myself to this world, and everything else does become rubbish.  Not because of what I do, but because of the power of his grace that gives me the faith to do the works.

Who’s on First?

Jesus.

Faith and Doubts

If you are a believer in Jesus, do you ever doubt your faith?  If you doubt, does that mean you don't really have a saving faith or that your faith is weak?

I've had this discussion a couple of times with my ten year-old son.  He has been raised in a Christian home.  He accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior when he was five.  This is young, but he has always been a very thoughtful boy and he was serious about this decision.  It was my blessing to be able to baptize him and a couple of years later his younger sister.

Now that my son is older, he's thinking more about his faith and what he believes.  Some things in the bible sound a little far out.  Once you learn that Santa Claus is just a nice story, you start to question other stories you've been taught, even ones you're taught in church.  So one night my son comes to me, with tears in his eyes, wondering if he can really be a Christian if he has these doubts.



I told my son, if he has doubts, he needs to seek out answers.  Like I said, my son is a very thoughtful young man.  I had to answer questions like,

Why did God create Satan if he knew he would rebel and be evil?

If I am saved and have the Holy Spirit in me, why do I still lose my patience with my little brothers and sisters and do mean things to them?

These are just a couple samplings.  I thank God for His Spirit to help me as a field these tough questions.  Amazingly enough, these types of questions will often come after I have studied a similar topic or listened to a teacherpreacher like John Piper talk about them.  I don't always give a great answer.  Piper makes answers to these types of questions seem so logical but they are much tougher when talking about them with your ten year-old son.

However, the best answer I gave my son was to take his doubts to God.  Read his bible, pray, but most importantly, remember what he knows to be true.  He has some great anchors of God working in his life to hold on to.  I wrote about one of these experiences this past spring.

My son is working out his faith.  He is so much further ahead of me than where I was at his age, in some ways, further than I am now.  It's scary for a father to watch his son work through his doubts?  What if he chooses not to believe?  All I can do is love him, teach him, lead by example, and be honest when I fail in my own faith.  God has to do the rest.  My son's faith is ultimately between him and God.

I was inspired to write this post because of a story I read about a man that has lost his faith.  You can read Dan's story here.  I don't believe anyone can snatch any believer from Jesus (John 10:28-29).  When I read Dan's story, it sure sounds like Dan had a saving faith, so how could he have lost it?  I don't know.  I don't know what was really in Dan's heart before and I don't know what is really there now.  Was he never really saved?  Or is he just now in a dark valley where he will eventually emerge more confident than ever in his faith?

That's not the point of Dan's story.  The point is how he claims his wife and his pastor have responded to his story.  The response he describes is tragic and it's not how Jesus would call us to respond.  I'm not assuming Dan's story is true and I'm not assuming it's false.  I don't personally know any of those involved.  However, it is a story we all need to pray about.

Pray for Dan and that while he believes he has turned his back on Jesus, that he learns that Jesus will never turn his back on him.

Pray for Dan's wife and their children.  Whether these accusations are true or false and whether Dan ever comes back to the Lord or not, this experience their family is suffering through is heart wrenching.

Pray for Dan's church and community, for those that know Christ can respond in love and those that do not know Jesus will see a response in love where it appears love has been lacking.

Pray for yourself and your family.  Pray that God will give you the faith and wisdom to not fear your doubts but to embrace your doubts as you work out your faith and seek Him who promises to answer (Luke 11:9-10).

Who is your neighbor?

Back in July I wrote a post expressing my frustration with myself for not loving my neighbor as myself.  Here is a follow-up post as I continue to work through this problem as I seek to work out my faith.

In my previous post I wrote about wanting to pray for a dying co-worker but in a short time forgetting about him as I got caught up in my own life again.

This is not an isolated incident. I often have great intentions of praying for others and serving those in need. However, in spite of my best intentions, my life is usually wrapped up around me. It’s hard to love your neighbor when you don’t even think of your neighbor.

It’s not a lack of desire. I want to love others. The problem is how I perceive love. Like most people, when I try to love others, I try to “feel” love for them before I “act” with love for them.

Jesus explained this to his disciples when he gave them a new command.

John 13:34 (ESV)

³⁴ A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another

Jesus, the rabbi whom these men had given up all to follow for the past three years had just washed their filthy feet. This was a job for a servant, not a teacher, not their Lord. However, Jesus was teaching them and teaching us, how to love.

Love is serving others. Love is putting others needs before your own. Love is not merely an emotion although there may be no emotion stronger. However emotions are fickle, the action of love is real.

Calling my sick co-worker to check on him was nice. It was a step in the right direction but it was a very guarded step. When I asked if there was anything I could do for him, I was relieved when he said he did not need anything. Really, a dying man, whom I am fairly confident did not know Jesus, does not need anything?

I accepted his answer because I was afraid not to. Isn’t that one of the main reasons that even though we want to love, we don’t. Acts of love on our part often open our hearts to more than we dare let in.

We all know the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). I think we hear that story and we tell ourselves that if we come across someone dying in the street that we will stop and help. Well, people are suffering and dying all around us. Sometimes we have to cross the street (or the tracks) to find them.

You may not know anyone dying of AIDS, but they are there. You may not know anyone homeless and starving, but they are there. You may not know any scared unmarried teenage mothers or mothers to be, but they are there. They are there, waiting to be loved, fed, and comforted. Where are you?

You don’t have to wait to stumble across someone dying in the road. You don’t have to wait for a co-worker to get sick and die. The time to love your neighbor, your enemy, and the stranger is now. If you wait to “feel” the love, it will never happen. I know...

Take This Road Lord? Really?

This is a guest post from my wonderful wife, Mandy.  She actually wrote it for her own blog but when I reviewed it I asked if I could post it on Seeking Things Above.  For those of you that have been following along on my journey, I think you'll see why I wanted it over here.

Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)
⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Am I going to walk down this road?

I keep asking God this question.

He has told Tony and me that we are going to one day walk down this road. But, I have questions. My number one questions is...

Really?

I know - it's a pretty deep question.

This road is the road that leads from a hotel in Ethiopia to an orphanage called Hannah's Hope.

Really? Is that what you are calling us to do?

I keep questioning this because I have been positive in the past that God is telling me to do one thing, only to lead me in a different direction than I thought. Of course, it has always turned out better and I can see in hindsight what He was doing when I thought I was heading in the first direction. I am fully confident that if this is not what God has planned for us, He will use this to lead us where He really wants us to go. Until then I still ask -

Really?

You have a child that will not have any parents to take care of him and you want to place him in our family?

I don't feel worthy of God allowing our family to participate in this awesome plan. But - Yes, Lord. Please use our family and be glorified through the entire process.

I'm pretty sure there will be some people who question what we are doing. We already have four kids, there are lots of kids in America that needs homes, our family is white and Ethopian babies are black.

Somehow, I think I can handle the critical comments better than the complimentary. What I don't want is to be glorified for what our family has done for this child. This is what God laid on our hearts. He is clear in Scripture that we are to take care of the poor, and He put this adoption on our hearts at the same time. On all of our hearts. The kids started asking for a baby right when God started opening our eyes to this. They are so excited.

I am having a hard time getting excited over this. I just keep waiting for God to tell me this was just step one and He actually wants us to do something else. I want to be excited about adoption. I want to get frustrated with how long the paperwork takes because I just can't wait any longer.

I will trust that God has a sovereign plan and this step is part of it. I can know that if He is going to lead us in another direction before we go through the entire adoption process, then all of this is just part of where He needed to take us first. It will be okay because God is in control. Not me.

Until then, I think I'm ready to get excited about starting this adoption process. I'm getting excited about praying for a child that may not even be conceived right now, and praying for his parents, and for our family that will see that the orphans and the poor are real people that we need to love and take care of. I'm getting excited because I know this child will be a way bigger blessing to our family than we will be to him. And, I'm getting excited about walking down that road to meet a child that God knew long before now and planned to place in our family.

This journey will take us down new roads. I'm ready to see where God leads us.

Really.

- Mandy

Carrying Your Own Cross

First, I want to say that I truly appreciate all of the encouraging comments I've received on my recent posts as I wrestle with God over what He wants me to do about the plight of the poor. However, this is not just about me. This is much bigger than a question about how much of my disposable income should be given to charity. This is about all of us, Christ's body, seeing the problem with Jesus' eyes, not just when we read about it, but it should be part of our every thought and every dream.

Warning - I am going to attempt to put a visual in your mind that will never leave. Stop reading now if you'd rather not think about it.

The stadium in the picture above is Kyle Field. The seating capacity is 82,600. Every week, during football season, this stadium is packed with Aggie football fans. That is a lot of people. That is more people than the entire population in most small towns in America.

Every week, all year long, 98,000 children quietly die directly from starvation or indirectly from their inability to resist common diseases. That number is small compared to the number that are suffering, hurting, and crying but just not dead yet.

This football season, when you see a packed stadium, remember that a stadium full of children died because of starvation this week and thousands more are just waiting their turn.

Each of us has a different calling from God on what to do about this issue. I am also well aware that this is just one of many problems in our world. As Christ's body we are full of different parts and different roles. However, we each do have a part and a role.

Luke 14:27
27 "Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

Carrying our own cross does not mean carrying our own problems and burdens. Our own problems and burdens are to be handed over to Jesus. Our cross is the spiritual and physical problems and burdens of others.

It is obvious that God is telling me that my cross includes the starving children around the world. It's not so obvious yet, all that He wants me to do about it, but I'm seeking. I encourage you to know your cross, but more importantly, to actually pick it up and carry it.

If you're living a comfortable life most days, chances are there may not be a cross on your shoulder. If you're living under your own stress most days, chances are there may not be a cross on your shoulder because your shoulders are already weighed down with your own burdens.

This is not just about me. It's much bigger than that.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

Everyone has choices to make every day. Some choices are easier than others. Sometimes they are easier because there are no lasting ramifications to whatever is chosen (Life Cereal or Mini Wheats). Some choices are more difficult because the ramifications are great or we have no idea what the ramifications might be.

Should I buy a new car or save the money?

Should I work longer so I can provide better for my family or should I work less so I can spend more time with my family?

Should I take the new job offer that will require our family to move?

How many children should we have?

The objective way to make a decision is to write down the pros and cons of each choice. Whichever choice has more pros wins. The problem is that the list of pros and cons is often very subjective and for sure, the importance of each is subjective. This makes the decision based on your own subjective prejudices and experiences which may or may not lead to a good decision.

A few years ago, my wife and I had one of those big decisions to make. We had just had our fourth child. We had surpassed the normal 2.5 child household. Our family felt complete. We decided to get a vasectomy ("we" - kind of like "we" had a baby). There were lots of good objective and subjective reasons on the pro side of the checklist to do it.

The problem was, my wife and I did not seek out God first. Four years later, God started laying it on our hearts that we made the wrong decision. Now we had a new decision. Do I have surgery to give control of our family size back to God? This time we did seek God and did the reversal.

God's Word is clear. We are to seek His will in all of our decisions.

Really? All of our decision? Even between Life Cereal or Mini Wheats?

I don't believe God intends to micro-manage your life. After all, in the Garden he did not tell Adam and Eve which fruit to eat each day. He only told them which fruit not to eat, ever. God gives us similar guidelines today through his Word.

Romans 2:18 (ESV)
¹⁸ and know his will and approve what is excellent, because you are instructed from the law;

For example, while he may not tell you which cereal to eat, he does tell you that your body is His holy temple so His will is for you to treat your body right.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (ESV)
¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
²⁰ for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

We unfortunately try to figure out God's ways based on our own understanding rather than seeking His way.

Isaiah 55:8 (ESV)
⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

So what are we supposed to do?

Pray...

Psalms 143:10 (ESV)
¹⁰ Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground!

Obey...

Matthew 7:21 (ESV)
²¹ "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

These are the two areas where I usually fail. I either rush to a decision based on my own understanding and don't pray first or I don't like what God's Word says so I do it my way anyway. If I wasn't so stubborn I'd make much better decisions.

Romans 8:28 (ESV)
²⁸ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

What has been your toughest decision? Did you seek God or did you do your best on your own? How'd that work for you?

Please share your experiences good or bad, Christian or not.

Faith of a Child

We had a pretty uneventful Memorial Day. We just went to the Grandparents to swim and then came home, ate burgers, watched a movie, and went to bed. However, it was a great day. Anytime you can just hang-out and relax with family and friends is a great day.

The grandparents have a pool and my kids love to swim. Well, they love the water. The two oldest ones swim well but the two youngest ones not so much. The four-year old is easy to keep an eye on in the pool. She just hangs out on steps wearing a full life-jacket. The six-year old is the problem. He can't swim well on his own yet, but he has no fear. That's our fearless, non-swimming six-year old taking the Nestle tea plunge in the picture above.

Our youngest son keeps us on our toes, but I am so jealous of how he loves life. When I look at how he embraces and enjoys life I can't help but see the analogy of the abundant life promised to us from Jesus (John 10:10). Why do I find it so hard to live the abundant Christian life?

One of the reasons that our son embraces life is that he rarely thinks about any negative consequences. Now, this is much to the dismay of his parents and we have our work cut out for us. However, when it comes to matters of faith and our Christian walk, that is the exact attitude we need to have. If we worry about what "bad" things might happen if we follow Christ completely, we will miss the abundant life promised to us.

What are some of the fears that prevent our abundant life?

• I barely have enough money in the bank to pay my bills, how can I afford to give some of it away?


• If I share my faith at work or school I may offend someone?


• If I put boundaries on my kids that are more stringent than the boundaries set by their friends' parents, I won't be the cool parent or my child might rebel.


• If I don't sacrifice my family time for work I may lose my job or lose opportunities to advance at my job. How will I provide for my family if I am not successful with my career?


• If I don't have my children in year-around extra-curricular activities, they won't be as athletic, as graceful or as popular as the other kids their age.


• If I join a small group at church the others in the group might find out that I really don't have it all together?


• How can I serve the church? I don't have any gifts that could be useful.

I'm sure there are many more fears that you can think of and that you may even face yourself in your walk.

It's time that we "grown-ups" take the Nestle tea plunge with our Christian walk and live fearlessly for Christ.

Mark 10:15 (ESV)
¹⁵ Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."

Please comment to this post with any fears you have faced in your walk but more importantly, any examples of the abundant life you have experienced by fearless embracing what God has set before you.

Great Expectations

My vision and my desire is for a church where the members are constantly challenging themselves. Each day we should be asking ourselves, am I doing what God wants me to do? Am I willing to give it all away? Am I loving those around me, believers and unbelievers? How am I showing that love? Am I too comfortable with my life?

Is this vision a reasonable expectation for me to have for my church?

I know I don't live up to these expectations, at least consistently. I easily fall into a comfort zone and don't worry about the world around me and what I am supposed to do to impact it. However, I know this is the expectation God has for me because his Spirit is not satisfied within me while I'm comfortable. If this is God's expectation for our lives how can we as a church not have that expectation from our members which means having that expectation for ourselves?

Church leadership is failing the church if this is not the expectation for every Christian member of the church. Jesus is creating a great work in us. He's not done but we act like he's done all he can do until we die and get to heaven. If your church is not growing spiritually beyond a certain point the reason is probably that too many people in the pews are just fine where they are at and where the church is at (as long as the church provides enough activities).

The big church-wide events are great and important to reach out to the community and expose people to mission opportunities. However, we must raise the expectations with our members that Christian living does not revolve around particular church-wide events.

I have this expectation for myself and as I said, I often fail at it, but it is still an expectation. I also have the expectation that my church and my church pastors and church leaders have this expectation from me. If I am failing to challenge myself, I expect my church, in love and grace, to let me know. This expectation has to be clear from the top and pushed down so that every member feels a little uneasy whenever they feel too comfortable with their Christian walk. Are my expectations too high? I hope not.

The next question is, how do we challenge people if we don't know where they're at spiritually? One person's challenge might be to love and honor his wife while another's might be to join the mission field.

This is a tough challenge for any church once it reaches any significant size. I have a hard time imagining any church reaching it's full potential without small groups (see disciples), accountability partners (see Paul and Barnabas) and mentors (see Paul and Timothy or Titus) as a way to challenge and inspire its members to continue to run the good race.

God's word tells us that Jesus will draw all men to himself. This word draw means to drag and haul which sounds like we have to be drawn kicking and screaming. We hold on to our comfortable life with all we have. I pray God draws His church to himself.

Here I am

What is the very first thing that crosses your mind when someone calls your name?  If you're like me, it will often depend on what you're doing at the time.  If I am busy, my very first thought may be "What now?" even if I quickly filter it and respond, "Yes?"  This is not a "Yes" - I am eager to serve but a "Yes" - I am acknowledging that I hear someone calling my name.

How come my first thought isn't "Great, someone needs me, how can I help?"  I know the reason for me personally.  For me it's because the world really revolves around me.  If I think I'm being called for something that will directly benefit me then my initial thoughts are excited but if I'm otherwise busy, my initial thoughts are much more annoyed.  The problem is I'm basically selfish.

This is a bad enough attitude when dealing with people, but it's an attitude that carries over with my relationship with God.  If my wife calls my name, I can filter out my initial selfish thoughts and respond nicely.  When God calls on me, he knows my heart immediately.  He knows when I'm just being a poser.

There is a great example of the attitude I want for myself in 1 Samuel 3:1-10.  Samuel is lying down when he thinks his elderly mentor, Eli, is calling for him.  His first thought is not, "What now, I'm tired" but he runs to Eli's side and eagerly says, "Here I am; you called me."  Eli tells Samuel that he did not call him and sends him back to bed.  This happens twice more and each time Samuel eagerly runs to Eli's side to see how he can help.

After the third time Eli figures out that it is God calling Samuel so he sends Samuel back and tells him to respond to God the next time he hears his name called.  God then calls Samuel's name again and Samuel responds, "Speak Lord, for Your servant is listening".  In other words, "Hear I am, how can I serve you".

I like this example because it shows how Samuel's heart was eager to help Eli, even when it was inconvenient.  This led to Samuel being able to recognize God's voice where he responded with the same eagerness ready to serve God.

If I am too selfish and busy to eagerly help get dinner ready, how ready am I to hear God when he asks me to truly sacrifice.  How ready am I to answer, "Here I am, how can I serve you?"

Great cross references:

Genesis 22:11 (Abraham)
Genesis 31:11 (Jacob)
Genesis 46:2 (Jacob)
Exodus 3:4 (Moses - burning bush helped a little)
Isaiah 6:8 (Isaiah's call - all time favorite example of response to God's call)
Acts 9:10 (Ananias)

And then there is God's response to us, even when we are not ready to call for him...

Isaiah 58:9
Isaiah 65:1

Praying for a miracle

When my dad had leukemia I really struggled with how to pray. At first I prayed for God to heal my dad. However, as the prognosis worsened I struggled with this request. I wanted God to heal my dad but reality was that he was going to die.

My prayers became more limited. I prayed for strength for my mom. I prayed for comfort for my dad as he suffered through treatments and the other ill effects caused by the disease.

These are important things to pray for when a loved one is hurt. However, I still wanted God to heal my dad. Why did I not continue to pray for complete healing?

I've thought a lot about this since my dad's death.

Why do we sometimes hold back from our prayers to ask God for a miracle? In my case, I think I was afraid to put my faith on the line. I was so certain that my dad's time had come. If I prayed for healing and it did not come, what did that say about my faith? What did it say about God?

If I had continued to pray for my dad's complete recovery, I don't think that would have swayed God and brought us the miracle we all wanted.

So why pray for the impossible?

Because God is El Shaddai, Lord Almighty. God spoke and the universe was created. Nothing is impossible for God.

What if God had healed my dad? Because I had stopped praying for the impossible, I would have missed having a miracle answer my prayer.

God knows what you desire and what you need. Why pray for the impossible? Because God is going to do great and impossible things. Don't miss out on the blessing of the impossible prayer being answered when it happens.